“The Humpty Dance” grabs you right in the biscuits from the first booty-shaking note! I wasn’t interested in hip hop back when this song came out, though I secretly thought some of the songs were catchy and fun. I loved MC Hammer and a few Run DMC songs, but that was about it. In 1990 there was a lot of controversy in hip hop with 2 Live Crew and shit like that, so I didn’t listen to most of it. It wasn’t until many years later that I could admit that I liked “The Humpty Dance.”
It’s just a straight up party song. Not every song has to change the world. And this doesn’t change anything, though Humpty isn’t the image and the style that you’re used to. But he gets laid by the ladies and wants to tell us all about it! Here are some important facts about our hero Humpty:
- His name is pronounced with a “umpty”
- He’s the new fool in town
- He’s sick with this
- In the 69 his nose will tickle your rear
- He likes his oatmeal lumpy
- He once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
- Obviously, he likes to write
Need more? They say he’s ugly, but it just does not phase him one bit. What an inspiration! He is skinny, he has a big nose, and he loves to show the world how to do the Humpty Hump. First, you limp to the side like your leg was broken, shakin’ and twitchin’, kinda like you were smokin’. Crazy, wack, funky! He looks like MC Hammer on crack, but—well, he’ll tell you the rest.
I added this song to my workout mix a few years ago, and it really is an awesome way to get you all up in your workout. Except you get that pimp limp when walking the track. So be careful. Your fellow gym bunnies may not appreciate you slowing down while they power walk the mile with those 2-pound weights.
And I love that Humpty gives a shout-out to the whole world, including black people, white people, Puerto Ricans, and Samoans. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think this may the only Top 20 song to ever name-check Samoans. Thank you, Humpty, for encouraging such diversity. It’s all about building bridges.
Peace and Humpty-ness fuh-evah!