“Bootylicious”, Destiny’s Child


It’s a celebration, bitches!  A celebration of the ass, that is.  And what bigger celebration can there be?


Baby, can you handle this?

Baby, can you handle this?

Baby, can you handle this?

I don’t think you can handle this!


J Lo booty

Fearless leader of the Great Ass Revolution

I am proud to be bootylicious!  When this song came out in 2001 we were in the middle of the Great Ass Revolution pioneered by J Lo, and all of us big booty girls were getting mainstream attention at last.  The beauty of the natural ass was finally being recognized!  People were getting ready for this jelly.


My ass has always been bootylicious.  Even as a kid I wore tight jeans because I loved the way my ass looked in them.  I was never self-conscious about it as I got older.  I had hips and ass—the tits didn’t really come into their own until one of my gays nurtured them and fondled them and helped them grow from cute 34Bs into voluptuous 38Cs!—and I loved my body.  I never got attention from boys in school, but once I was in my early 20s and my self-image changed for the better, I was more than happy to show myself off to anyone and everyone.


Barely move, we’ve arrived

Lookin’ sexy, lookin’ fly

Baddest chick, chick inside

DJ, jam tonight


Spotted me a tender thang

There you are, come on baby

Don’t you wanna dance with me

Can you handle, handle me?


And handle me they did!  It was a lot of fun wearing very tiny, very tight dresses and shaking my ass.  I didn’t care who appreciated it—male or female, gay or straight, black, white, brown, or any other color of the rainbow.  I was an equal opportunity big booty ho.


I hope you can handle all this jelly that I have!

I hope you can handle all this jelly that I have!

Praise be to all those bootylicious guys and gals out there!  Be proud of who you are and what you look like!  And shake it if ya got it!

Destiny's Child


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